Annie was here… it’s kind of unbelievable… it’s like it was a dream. it’s like i slept last wednesday and woke up this morning…
it was great when she was here. her presence proved that utopia is something real with real people there.
i remember that some months ago Lyov told me that there’s no virtual friendship. but Annie is the best example of it. we met after being friends on the internet for 2 years.
she’s very special for me. she’s a great friend and also she’s the first utopian i’ve ever met. i miss her already but still can’t believe she was here. i’m sad kinda.
no more postcards to alanis.
no more “carpenter” song.
no more getting lost in the city.
no more calling “wach auf” to wake her up in the morning.
no more hair to pull.
no more beer.
no more hearing her say “barev” or “bari gisher.”
no more craziness, no more.
i hope she’ll come here again. i miss her very much.

at 08:13 the stereo turned on. it was my first alarm. starsailor began to sing “tie up my hands.” i lay down for 2 minutes with my eyes closed. and then the second alarm began. there was so much noise in my room that it was impossible to hear the third one. anyway, it was time to get up. the first class was pathophysiology and i was afraid to be late. you know, the teacher is very strict!
so i slowly decided what to wear, took my clothes and went to the bathroom. i took a quick shower and dressed. though i had still 10 minutes more for staying at home, i hurried to go out. i was looking forward to going back to university for 2 reasons. one was that i was afraid to be late and the other was that i wanted to share with Maria about friday, about all those miracles.
going out early (at 8:35) was useless cuz anyway there was no transport til 08:45.
so i was in the pathophysiology department at 08:55. i saw Maria standing at the window and i was surprised to notice that we had the same hairstyle today. i told her quickly some part of what i experienced on friday. i think she wasn’t interested in it very much. she’s a very good friend, maybe my best one at the moment but when it comes to understanding my feelings, she’s just unable. she’s very kind, ready to help everytime i need but knowing me is perhaps too difficult for her.
anyway, we had a hard day today. we had pathophysiology, pathologic anatomy lecture and diagnostics. it was funny cuz all of the teachers were talking about blood pressure. it was even funnier when one of them said that normal systolic pressure shouldn’t be higher than 140. if it is, then it’s a pathology in all cases. the other said that it can be ok for some individuals. so whom to believe? oh, well, i have my own point of view but the problem is i have no experience to prove it for myself.
after the diagnostics class i hurried to CSUA as we had a planning meeting today.
…mobile phone didn’t keep quiet during the meeting. at first it was my boss of the student newspaper and then… a number that i didn’t know. i apologized everytime and got out of the room. but the one who called didn’t say anything. well, i knew who it was. i called back after the meeting but he didn’t answer. i called again and again. and i knew who it was. i knew how he could know my mobile number. i sent him an sms. it would mean nothing to a stranger but if it was really him, then it would mean a lot. and HE KNOWS THAT.

weird things are going on in my life… especially the dreams i have every night. soooooo weird… i can’t understand anything. where’s Am? i need her to analyze my dreams. such a mess… i want to forget him but he comes to my dreams. he knows that he’s nobody for me in my real life so he just spoils my beautiful dreams… oh, he’s the only one in the world that i hate…..

my friend Lili

…i miss Lili. this means one thing. i’m gonna hear from her soon. our friendship is so weird. we understand each other clearly but how many times have we met? we know each other for already 7.5 years but we lost contact for several times. at first, it was for 2 years. we communicated for about 10 months and then 3 years of silence (not counting the random meetings we had in the town). then she appeared again for a short time. now i haven’t heard from her for already 8 months. but there’s one special thing about Lili. whenever i begin to think of her, she calls me or we meet…

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Byurakn

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