what’s wrong with me? that feeling didn’t leave me. and when i went to bed, my heartbeat became faster and stronger. couldn’t sleep. i had a fear of something. fear of death? fear of losing someone? i decided to continue reading the book i’ve just started. it’s Quo Vadis by Henryk Sienkiewicz. it was really interesting that i could hardly stop reading it before going to bed. but then… when i realized i couldn’t sleep, i switched on the light and took the book. i read 2 pages but couldn’t remember what i had read. i turned on the computer. there wasn’t much to do in the internet as well.
i feel that my hands are getting cold. i feel cold inside my whole body. is it just me or is it cold here? our house is so warm usually. maybe it’s just me.
and i realize that i need him more than ever. maybe the reason why i feel like this is that i really don’t know if he’s for me or not. i really don’t know i love him or not. i really don’t know i miss him or not. oh, if you read this, please call me. i wanna know what i feel while talking to you. it’s not enough. maybe i should tell you everything about what i was feeling before and what i feel now. and that even when i had stopped loving you, i still have to struggle against you. i can’t anymore. one, two, three and… i’ll go crazy. i’m pretty serious. oh, help me, please! you’re the only one that can help me…

22 Comments

  1. Anonymous said,

    January 10, 2005 at 12:06 pm

    Again self-deception……..
    You love him..and that’s it! Just live with it…
    But I think…he will never you.. If he reads this LJ…hmm…where is your female proud?

    • byurie said,

      January 11, 2005 at 7:34 am

      c’mon, stop making fun of me. i was crazy that night 😉
      i don’t love him

  2. Anonymous said,

    January 10, 2005 at 12:06 pm

    Again self-deception……..
    You love him..and that’s it! Just live with it…
    But I think…he will never you.. If he reads this LJ…hmm…where is your female proud?

    • byurie said,

      January 11, 2005 at 7:34 am

      c’mon, stop making fun of me. i was crazy that night 😉
      i don’t love him

  3. Anonymous said,

    January 10, 2005 at 12:06 pm

    Again self-deception……..
    You love him..and that’s it! Just live with it…
    But I think…he will never you.. If he reads this LJ…hmm…where is your female proud?

    • byurie said,

      January 11, 2005 at 7:34 am

      c’mon, stop making fun of me. i was crazy that night 😉
      i don’t love him

  4. Anonymous said,

    January 10, 2005 at 12:06 pm

    Again self-deception……..
    You love him..and that’s it! Just live with it…
    But I think…he will never you.. If he reads this LJ…hmm…where is your female proud?

  5. Anonymous said,

    January 10, 2005 at 12:06 pm

    Again self-deception……..
    You love him..and that’s it! Just live with it…
    But I think…he will never you.. If he reads this LJ…hmm…where is your female proud?

    • byurie said,

      January 11, 2005 at 7:34 am

      c’mon, stop making fun of me. i was crazy that night 😉
      i don’t love him

  6. Anonymous said,

    January 10, 2005 at 12:06 pm

    Again self-deception……..
    You love him..and that’s it! Just live with it…
    But I think…he will never you.. If he reads this LJ…hmm…where is your female proud?

  7. Anonymous said,

    January 10, 2005 at 12:06 pm

    Again self-deception……..
    You love him..and that’s it! Just live with it…
    But I think…he will never you.. If he reads this LJ…hmm…where is your female proud?

  8. byurie said,

    January 11, 2005 at 7:34 am

    c’mon, stop making fun of me. i was crazy that night 😉
    i don’t love him

  9. byurie said,

    January 11, 2005 at 7:34 am

    c’mon, stop making fun of me. i was crazy that night 😉
    i don’t love him

  10. byurie said,

    January 11, 2005 at 7:34 am

    c’mon, stop making fun of me. i was crazy that night 😉
    i don’t love him

  11. Anonymous said,

    January 3, 2009 at 10:45 am

    When the feelings surround you, the pride escapes 😉

    By the way, I guess the writer knew that he would never read this, that’s why she wrote it!

  12. Anonymous said,

    January 3, 2009 at 10:45 am

    When the feelings surround you, the pride escapes 😉

    By the way, I guess the writer knew that he would never read this, that’s why she wrote it!

  13. Anonymous said,

    January 3, 2009 at 10:45 am

    When the feelings surround you, the pride escapes 😉
    By the way, I guess the writer knew that he would never read this, that’s why she wrote it!

  14. Anonymous said,

    January 3, 2009 at 10:45 am

    When the feelings surround you, the pride escapes 😉
    By the way, I guess the writer knew that he would never read this, that’s why she wrote it!

  15. Anonymous said,

    January 3, 2009 at 10:45 am

    When the feelings surround you, the pride escapes 😉
    By the way, I guess the writer knew that he would never read this, that’s why she wrote it!

  16. Anonymous said,

    January 3, 2009 at 10:45 am

    When the feelings surround you, the pride escapes 😉
    By the way, I guess the writer knew that he would never read this, that’s why she wrote it!

  17. Anonymous said,

    January 3, 2009 at 10:45 am

    When the feelings surround you, the pride escapes 😉
    By the way, I guess the writer knew that he would never read this, that’s why she wrote it!

  18. Anonymous said,

    January 3, 2009 at 10:45 am

    When the feelings surround you, the pride escapes 😉

    By the way, I guess the writer knew that he would never read this, that’s why she wrote it!


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